Two years tomorrow. Two years since I first talked to you, and half a year since I’ve missed you like crazy every day of my life. I read some of our conversations, I would read them all but they’re thousands.. This is how it all started. This is to remind me why I loved you so much.
19th of August, 2009.
Alecs: you have to enjoy it and have fun, cause it`s really beautiful there
Jasper: yeah il have fun
Jasper: but i just wish i could talk to you dude!
Alecs: why?! i mean you`ll have fun, that`s what matters:P
Alecs: be happy about it
Jasper: hahah nah you dont understand :P
Alecs: make me
Jasper: i can’t
Alecs: haha why?
Jasper: coz i dont like it when i dont talk to you!
Alecs: uhm, neither do i!
Alecs: but you`ll feel okay and you`ll forget
Alecs: i mean you won`t forget me
Alecs: just forget you were feeling sad
Alecs: which is a good thing, cause we don`t want you sad, don`t we?! :P silly
Jasper: you’ll forget too then! :P
Alecs: no i won`t, cause i won`t be there having fun
Alecs: i`ll be looking at your fucking OFFLINE NAME on MSN
Jasper: you’ll be in greece! :P
Alecs: i won`t have fun in greece dude, i`m going with them!
Alecs: like it will be nice, relaxing but not.. FUN
21st of August, 2009
Alecs: what did you want to tell me?
Jasper: um, no
Alecs: tell me!
Jasper: i cant!
Alecs: you said you can tell me anything!
Jasper: i know :P
Alecs: and we won`t be talking in ages
Alecs: and i want to know what`s going on with you
Jasper: ah dude im so stupid
Alecs: STOP SAYING YOU ARE
Jasper: like this summer i got really close to you, and i know i shouldnt have because … i duno i always love things that i ‘cant have’ you know? and it sucks and i just know that stuffs guna get so hard when i go back to school because it always does
Jasper: you just mean so much to me dude, like way too much if you ask me, and thats just talking like this, i havent even met you and i care that much for you and i dont understand and in a way i wish i didnt
Alecs: uhm, like, thanks for saying this, you made it easier for me too, haha
Jasper: haha im ridiculous
Jasper: dont tell me im not
Alecs: do you remember when i told you that if i`ll ever get too close to you, i`ll have to delete you for ever? haha
Alecs: uhm of course i was kidding then, but it kind of happened, and i know it`s stupid, i don`t even want to admit it, cause it`s absurd
Alecs: and like i always make it harder for me you know?
Alecs: i somehow manage to complicate things everytime and i make myself suffer
Alecs: and this is really stupid, honestly
Alecs: i wish it wasn`t like that either
Alecs: and telling you this, feels even more stupid
Alecs: but i don`t want to go, and i don`t want you to go
Jasper: me either
Jasper: but it is stupid, i hate it, i just wish we lived close and could be like normal friends
Looking back and reading these now I realize how much has changed, how much it’s been. I don’t recognize myself in those lines, but I surely recognize him. That’s exactly how I remembered him. So weird to think it was only two years ago, I was just a kid. I wish I could have that summer back, if only for a few days.. that would be.. ‘fun-toss-teak’.