For some unknown reasons I turned on the telly today only to see the most awful thing I’ve seen in ages. It switched on to BBC News and I saw some video about a war.. in which the USA was involved, obviously.
I’ll just say what I saw.. not what I believe, or how I feel about this whole thing as it’s irrelevant. I’ll just say that I saw a group of black, poorly dressed people yelling and burning stuff. They carried guns and behind them was a demoralizing, miserable land – all dusty, pieces of clothing everywhere, stones, food. Oh, and some fairly devastated small buildings which I believe were their houses. That was the background.
The people were yelling something, and one of them was no older than 12 years old and I put the telly on mute and just looked at them, sitting on my comfortable bed, in my cosy house, drinking some Diet Coke. Then a feeling hit me – it didn’t last more than a few seconds but it was horrible. I felt so sorry for those men as they stood there with their guns, fighting for life, I had no clue what they were saying, what was that thing they kept screaming for probably a long time, but I knew they were hurting, a lot. Looking at the screen for just one second would have been enough for anyone, and I mean anyone, to imagine what kind of pain they must have experienced.. I just wanted to find a way to talk to them, let them know I’m that horrible Big Brother watching them with my Diet Coke from my comfortable bed, and that I feel sorry for them. So sorry it hurt, so sorry I wished I understood their language and desires.
They were just images to me, just some people somewhere far far away, having problems. Some people dying.. eventually. I remember a character’s words from a book: he said geography, history, whatever happens on the planet right now, is not OUR reality. We know about it but we cannot experience it so the 7 billion people on Earth are actually just numbers – one could never meet them all so they’re not real. Well it’s funny cause I subscribed to that idea, but when I saw those images the people in them were as real as that cold can of Diet Coke I was holding. It was like a movie, but in real -time. You know how movies affect us more when they’re based on true stories? Well imagine a true story made as a film. Cause they were being filmed and all..
I wanted nothing but to talk to them. If I’d had a chance, this is what I would’ve said :
‘I am no more of a human than you are and you should not go through this. Please drop your guns cause they won’t help you. You can do fuck all to stop the Americans or anyone actually, your people is a poor and sick one, and you will eventually die.. You could not possibly understand why this will happen, although there IS an explanation, a very absurd one indeed. I know it’s not fair and I’m ashamed of people like me who don’t give a shit, and I’m ashamed of those who planned it all. I know that you will die sooner or later. You and other hundreds of thousands, but that doesn’t matter. Your life is the most important .. for you. Just how everyone’s life is. And you will lose yours cause of this sick masterplan. Being from a ‘developed’ country wouldn’t help either. I am at least glad to let you know that I could die as unexpected as you after all, cause no one could ever stand up to it. The rules have been made and the only point where your life went wrong was the moment you were born – blame the place where you were born. Not yourself. I don’t know you, I don’t know what’s that you’re saying or what’s written on that board you’re carrying, I don’t even know what language you speak. But you are a human being, and therefore you are amazing. And I feel sorry for you and for me and for us all. Rest in peace.’
Squeaky Voices and Creaking Floors 