I’ve just returned from a horror-beautiful weekend at the seaside. I’m not really sure how I should start this.. The sea hurt. It’s always sad to see places you used to know so well becoming only memories, and the reason I say this is that everything felt so wrong there.
Every step I took reminded me of last year, or even worse : 2 years ago. I hoped you would be there, but you weren`t. I hoped that for days and days and you let me know only a few hours before I left that you weren`t going to come.. What did you do that for?
I’m sorry I got drunk and said all those things to you that I never wouldn’t have, if I was sober. I’m sorry the sea is dirty and miserable and that I can’t hear its waves anymore. I’m sorry I missed our anniversary going to a disco with people I bearly knew and liked, bought you a turtle instead of being with you, and faced our memories alone. I felt the salty water without you, and I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that place is not what we used to know, and just a worthless strip of sand that a big bunch of losers uses to throw garbage on.
I’m also sorry you’ll probably never read this, and I’m sorry you’ll never know how I missed you. I’m sorry there are no words to describe what I’ve been through seeing all those things without you near.
Oh, and the most important.. I’m sorry you didn’t miss me as much as I did, and that I can’t let you go. God, I wish I could!
Cause.. What you are to me… I do not need..