Tag Archives: conflicts

The world we live in

For some unknown reasons I turned on the telly today only to see the most awful thing I’ve seen in ages. It switched on to BBC News and I saw some video about a war.. in which the USA was involved, obviously.
I’ll just say what I saw.. not what I believe, or how I feel about this whole thing as it’s irrelevant. I’ll just say that I saw a group of black, poorly dressed people yelling and burning stuff. They carried guns and behind them was a demoralizing, miserable land – all dusty, pieces of clothing everywhere, stones, food. Oh, and some fairly devastated small buildings which I believe were their houses. That was the background.

The people were yelling something, and one of them was no older than 12 years old and I put the telly on mute and just looked at them, sitting on my comfortable bed, in my cosy house, drinking some Diet Coke. Then a feeling hit me – it didn’t last more than a few seconds but it was horrible. I felt so sorry for those men as they stood there with their guns, fighting for life, I had no clue what they were saying, what was that thing they kept screaming for probably a long time, but I knew they were hurting, a lot. Looking at the screen for just one second would have been enough for anyone, and I mean anyone, to imagine what kind of pain they must have experienced.. I just wanted to find a way to talk to them, let them know I’m that horrible Big Brother watching them with my Diet Coke from my comfortable bed, and that I feel sorry for them. So sorry it hurt, so sorry I wished I understood their language and desires.

They were just images to me, just some people somewhere far far away, having problems. Some people dying.. eventually. I remember a character’s words from a book: he said geography, history, whatever happens on the planet right now, is not OUR reality. We know about it but we cannot experience it so the 7 billion people on Earth are actually just numbers – one could never meet them all so they’re not real. Well it’s funny cause I subscribed to that idea, but when I saw those images the people in them were as real as that cold can of Diet Coke I was holding. It was like a movie, but in real -time. You know how movies affect us more when they’re based on true stories? Well imagine a true story made as a film. Cause they were being filmed and all..

I wanted nothing but to talk to them. If I’d had a chance, this is what I would’ve said :

‘I am no more of a human than you are and you should not go through this. Please drop your guns cause they won’t help you. You can do fuck all to stop the Americans or anyone actually, your people is a poor and sick one, and you will eventually die.. You could not possibly understand why this will happen, although there IS an explanation, a very absurd one indeed. I know it’s not fair and I’m ashamed of people like me who don’t give a shit, and I’m ashamed of those who planned it all. I know that you will die sooner or later. You and other hundreds of thousands, but that doesn’t matter. Your life is the most important .. for you. Just how everyone’s life is. And you will lose yours cause of this sick masterplan. Being from a ‘developed’ country wouldn’t help either. I am at least glad to let you know that I could die as unexpected as you after all, cause no one could ever stand up to it. The rules have been made and the only point where your life went wrong was the moment you were born – blame the place where you were born. Not yourself. I don’t know you, I don’t know what’s that you’re saying or what’s written on that board you’re carrying, I don’t even know what language you speak. But you are a human being, and therefore you are amazing. And I feel sorry for you and for me and for us all. Rest in peace.’


Conflicts

Conflicts.. don’t we just love them? If we could watch any day of our lives the way we watch movies (another thing we seem to worship as well), I think we’d actually end up feeling pity for the human race whose reputation we constantly ruin with all the useless stuff we do.

Think about all the stupid reasons that make us pollute the universe with bad thoughts and energy. It is hilarious. Throughout my life, I’ve noticed a fair amount people didn’t seem to like me, and that is fine by me. Plus, I find it absolutely pointless to respond to a conflict.  Really, why would you do that? .. To prove you’re better? Well guess what, if you insult back and reply to all the nonsense there’s no way on earth you’ll ever be better. Not to you, not to anyone else.

Besides, the ones who start conflicts, obviously think that you’re wrong/stupid/arrogant/whatever and want you to replace your point of view with theirs. Keep it between me and you, this form of inducing an idea actually means the person badly needs acceptance and acknowledge from others because they don’t trust themselves enough. Needless to say it’s the stupidest way to try to dominate, but oh well, long live ignorance.

Have you noticed there are some people who just seem to NEED to argue? I know quite a few. They always seem to have something against .. everything. And this is why they do it – cause they seek approval. The more you try to impose an idea, the more unsure you are it is true. Think about it – there are times when you are 100% positive about something and if anyone wants to say the opposite you really refuse to engage in the conversation, like ‘I won’t even bother explaining this to you.’ Now, THAT is the right attitude. Besides if you think it through, why do you need them to think the same as you?

I would hate it if everyone thought like me. So what if they’re wrong? Fuck em, what do you care?

I tried dealing with people’s anger in every way I could. Sometimes it takes unearthly efforts to put up with it, but it’s worth it. I’ve found the best way to dominate an argument (cause that’s what we seem to want eventually) and prove we are better is to ignore it. Just pretend it didn’t happen. Smile. DO NOT say a word! Trust me, this is like the best recipe ever to shut people’s mouth. Action through non-action, that’s one of the most useful Taoist teachings. The Chinese got it right.

It will drive them crazy, but that’s not what we want (or at least, that’s not what we SHOULD want) – what really matters is that it will make them face their selves. They’ll be forced to look inside and do some introspection, even involuntarily. Then something will tell them they’re wrong, and they’ll try to make that uncomfortable feeling go by yelling/insulting/sending more texts/calling more, etc. Anything it takes for you to respond and feed their frustrations. But DON’T DO IT.

Sometimes I feel bad for the people I love when I see them get mad and I just choose not to react, cause they often think I don’t care enough or don’t love them or I’m ignorant or whatever. I don’t mind that. The key is to feel relief when they get that bad energy poisoning their brain out, and don’t fight it. You’ll only make things worse, so let them say what they want and listen to them, cause that’s their raw self speaking. Take advantage of it and try to help them later, or if you don’t wanna do that, take advantage of it and remember their weaknesses. Anyhow, feel their relief and look at it as a good thing instead of being offended or feeling disappointed.

We should never feel ‘disappointed’ in others, that’s another stupid concept people invented to make others do what they want them to do, some sort of subtle blackmail. For example – I am disappointed you didn’t remember I had an exam today. Why should they anyway? We are in-di-vi-du-als, which means our actions and thoughts are unique and we sort them and use them the way we want to. We are not related to each other, although sometimes it bloody looks like it.

My point is.. feel good, accept others being angry, understand that as a natural reaction, and listen to whatever they’re saying. At least you know for sure they’re being honest in those moments.