Ideas upon life

These two years that have passed (since the summer of 2009) I have encountered the highest highs and the lowest lows of all the eighteen years I have lived, and I believe it’s fairly righteous to say I’ve learnt quite a few things. To be honest, I think it’s an amazing feeling to be able to look back upon a certain time of your life and realize that you have discovered something, that you are a bit wiser and know a tiny bit more about the complexity of human beings and relationships. It makes you feel not useless.

Now, I don’t know if what I learnt is universally true, I don’t even know if it is mildly true, but this is how it worked for me, and I have a feeling my life’s not different than everyone else’s.. So here it goes:

1. People are not the same, and sure as hell people are not equal. 

2. If you want summin to be done right you’ve got to do it yourself.

3. The feeling that you cannot be hurt (morally) is immense.

4. Appearances are extremely deceitful.

5. Money is way easier to spend when it belongs to someone else.

6. Words mean fuck all and are just a way to distract people from the truth.

7. When you are sick, your whole universe crumbles down.

8. The best and most intense love is the one which ends too soon.

9. No one can be trusted.

10. We never learn, we never change. 

Alright, this is it. I must say I have gone through some serious damage to figure these things out on my own and I am well proud of myself. Two years, my bloody decalogue (not meant to be 10, it must be some kinda magic). As I said, I don’t know if they apply to anyone else, but that’s what my experiences made me believe so far.. If anyone has any objections, I would love to hear them.

Opinion on modesty

Ah, show-offs.. gotta love them! Just talked to someone who named 19 books as their ‘favourites’. I mean, don’t get me wrong, reading is great, and books (some) are wonderful, but 19?! I mean honestly, NINETEEN FAVOURITE BOOKS? Of course it may be this or it may be that the person has yet to figure out what the word favourite refers to. No mate, it’s not every single book you found delightful or could read thoroughly, nor is it all the books you’ve ever laid hands on. It’s the *few* ones that changed your existence, had a major impact on the way you saw things, or made you have revelations or nightmares or think about something for days.

Now, if the number of books that changed your life is nineteen.. Well then, oh my, what can I say? You must be a fair confused chap and I’m sorry for you. And don’t get me wrong, I know how hard it is to decide on just a few things like favourite songs from your favourite artist or favourite movies when you’ve seen thousands, but even so, in my opinion the list should not be longer than.. I don’t know, say 6? 6 books? I repeat, don’t think about stuff you just liked.

Up to a point, you can say it’s hard to choose cause they may be totally different, like fantasy, biographies, whatever you like to read, but when someone asks you what are the best ones and you name so many for me is just another way of saying ‘I read a lot’. Actually, implying you read a lot, which is way worse. I have no problem with people just admitting stuff, like .. ‘I know way more quotes than a normal person does’ or ‘I believe I know a lot about a certain field’ or ‘I play the violin very well’, just pointing out your qualities, you know? I like that, people who are aware of what they’re capable of and being confident enough to say it and stand up for it. Modesty is shit, what is it anyway? Just some other form of being humble and coward and ignorant.

Many people, even if deep down they know they’re good at something will probably say they’re average or ‘not that good’ when they’re asked by someone else. Think about how many people would answer ‘Yes’ without hesitation to the question ‘Do you think you’re smart?’ .. Very few, I tell you. And why?! Cause it’s easier than living with the responsibility of having made their skills acknowledged, than having to prove it and stand up for their affirmation. Which is pathetic, by the way.

That’s the reason most people would just rather imply stuff – make it public but at the same time making sure that if at some point they don’t feel good enough, they can always say ‘hey, I never said that about myself.’ It’s, again, so human-ish and shallow it pisses me off. So yeah, this is what annoyed me today – showing off by using cheap tricks like implying stuff to make people admire you/like you/think more of you. Way to go, humble creatures!